Frame: Too Much of a Good Thing is Gross

Geoffrey Fowler’s recent article in the Wall Street Journal, For Those Who Can’t Decide on Dessert, Here’s the Dish, tells the story of “the turducken of desserts,” the Cherpumple: a three layer cake with a pie baked into each layer. Cherry, pumpkin, and apple pie all wrapped up in cake, generously frosted.

photo taken from WSJ.com

I am all for experimentation, but there is nothing about this that appeals to me. It is an actual, official mess. Print out a certificate: Outstanding Achievement in Massive Waste of Ingredients. Even in the article, one baker laments that “numerous people feel the need to tell me how disgusting it is.” Yes, yes, it is.

I’m not even talking about the fact that a cherpumple is really in the same family as the now infamous and alarmingly ubiquitous Hamburger wrapped in Krispy Kremes, I’m talking about the reality that there is no way this could taste good. Why spend so much time concocting what is, from the start, a failed experiment?

It is not, as the article states, “taking the cupcake trend to a ridiculous- but hopefully delicious- level.” A gourmet cupcake, even with filling and fancy frosting, is still three pies short of cherpumple insanity.

An important rule of fashion: always take off one piece of clothing before you leave the house, so as not to be overly accessorized.

An important rule of writing: never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice, so as not to be overly pretentious.

An important rule of cooking, or perhaps food innovation?  Always take off two pies before you open the oven, or never use three layers when one will do.

photo from foodnetwork.com