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Frame: Blender Not Required

November 12, 2010

one of my favorite kitchen tools

Years ago I was planning to write a cookbook entitled “Blender Not Required.” The point of the book was to have recipes that only needed the most basic kitchen implements: a pan, a pot, a wooden spoon, and a knife. I was going to make tools like blenders obsolete, reinvent things like smoothies and whipped cream by showing people how to make them without their Cuisinarts.

Did I mention that, at the time, I was living in a tiny one room studio with a closet sized kitchen and zero money in the bank?

I’ve since moved on from the idea of “Blender Not Required” (and into a bigger apartment with a better kitchen), and I do indeed own a blender. While I enjoy my collection of pans and various cooking implements, I recognize that I don’t actually need many of them. Yes, my Le Creuset and Henckels have a special place in my heart, and really nice cookware does often make a difference in your finished product. But a good cook doesn’t need a lot of fancy accoutrements to make a good meal.

And on that note, my list of Top Ten Kitchen Tools You Will Never Need.

1. Garlic Peeler: Don’t buy this. Take flat end of knife, rest on clove of garlic. Smack knife. Done.

2. Wok Spatula: Really? Really? You need a special spatula for your wok? No, you don’t.

3. Electric Can Opener: It is no longer 1950.

4. Onion Chopper: You do not need a special tool to chop onions. You also do not need special eye wear to chop onions. As a side note, what can’t you buy on Amazon?

5. CO2 Charged Cream Whipper: You can use a blender, you can use a whisk. You don’t need CO2.

6. Potato Ricer: As I discovered when I was living in my studio, you don’t even need a masher to make mashed potatoes. All you really need is a fork. You certainly do not need a ricer.

7. Egg Cooker/Poacher: While this little hen is cute, you just don’t need it. You need a pan.

8. Garlic Roaster: Otherwise known as tin foil.

9. Avocado Slicer: Otherwise known as a knife.

10. Pizza Scissors: Also, otherwise known as a knife.

Voila. I just saved you all at least $200. You’re welcome.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 12, 2010 7:36 am

    BLASPHEMY!!!!!! As a mutt of 2 different potato consuming cultures I will tell you there is a big difference in mashed potatoes made with a masher or fork versus a ricer. A ricer handles the potato a little differently enabling you to get smoothly processed potatoes for such things as needhams and gnocci. I dare you to try to make gnocci without a good ricer, or is that too much like baking for you? ;)

    A ricer can also be used to make spaetzle if you don’t have a handy spaetzle contraption.

  2. bestthingslicedbread permalink*
    November 12, 2010 3:24 pm

    ok, i’ll give you potato ricer. but spaetzle contraption then goes on the useless list.

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