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Frame: Happy Halloween! Or, How to Carve a Pumpkin

October 31, 2011

It has come to my attention, after 31 Halloweens, that I may be slightly set in my ways when it comes to carving pumpkins. I blame my father. But rather than argue the point, I’m going to embrace my crazy and give you a list of things to keep in mind while you massacre your own gourds tonight.

1. Tonight? Did you really wait until tonight to carve your pumpkin? You’re ridiculous. You fail Halloween.
2. When you, the Halloween failure who waited until the last minute, finally do carve your pumpkin, make sure you spend a good chunk of time hollowing out the inside. If the pumpkin walls are too thick you’ll never be able to carve a proper face.
3. Are you finished hollowing out the inside? No, you are not. You used one of those orange plastic scoops that comes in those pumpkin carving kits. Throw that out and use a big metal spoon.
4. Did you use the big metal spoon? Ok, let me check. Nope, you are still not done. Go over that pumpkin at least 4 more times.
5. Ok that seems fine. Now squeeze some lemon juice over the inside of the pumpkin. Following the same logic as apples and avocados, if you add some lemon to the pumpkin it will stay fresh longer. Although, that doesn’t matter since you’re ridiculous and waited so long to carve your pumpkin in the first place.

Happy Halloween!

One Comment leave one →
  1. Pat permalink
    October 31, 2011 8:58 pm

    You have described our Pumpkin carving sessions exactly!! But, we have some great pumpkins out front tonight! And the pumpkin seeds were pretty tasty too……


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