Feast: NoMad, or Yelp Doesn’t Know Shit

As it is one of my favorite Boston restaurants, I follow The Gallows on Facebook, and I was psyched to see them post the above picture a few days ago. The comment card text, “Yelp doesn’t know shit” hits it – especially because the online review site almost steered us away from NoMad in NYC. Forutnately, we didn’t listen to the crowd-sourced smarmy-ness, and NoMad turned out to be one of the best meals I’ve ever had.

Here’s a few of the first Yelp comments you’ll get when you look up NoMad:

“Overpriced and underwhelming.”

“Roast Chicken – We saw every table ordering this.  Presentation wise, it looked phenomenal.  However, was it heavenly?  No, it wasn’t.  Some parts of the chicken was over cooked.  The dark meat is delivered on the side with some sauce.  It should be the other way around. Also overpriced.”

“The food was so salty, especially the butternut squash. And one of the staffers had awful body odor.”

Accusation #1: NoMad’s Roast Chicken is overpriced.
Fact: NoMad serves a Roast Chicken for Two, for $79.
$79/2 = $39.50. Under forty dollars for an entrée in New York? Empirically not overpriced.

Accusation #2: “However was it heavenly? No, it wasn’t. The dark meat is delivered on the side with some sauce. It should be the other way around.”
Fact: The roast chicken has foie gras, black truffle, and brioche stuffed under its skin. It is presented to your table whole, then left to rest, then carved. It is served with the white meat on a main plate, and the dark meat in a smaller black skillet, covered in a frothy hollandaise. It is perfect. And yes, it is heavenly.

So no, please don’t drench the chicken breast in gravy. Please, allow me to devour it as God intended, with its crispy stuffed skin intact and untouched. Please, accent the gamey dark meat with creamy, mildly acidic hollandaise that makes me want to order two more chickens to go. Please.

Accusation #3: “One of the staffers had awful body odor.”
You might want to check your own armpits, friend. The staff was nattily dressed and smelled lovely… a bit like the best chicken I’ve ever had. Moreover, everyone at NoMad was helpful and welcoming.

I hereby vow never to let Yelp decide my dinner location again.

photo by Dave Copeland