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Frame: Blender Not Required

November 12, 2010

one of my favorite kitchen tools

Years ago I was planning to write a cookbook entitled “Blender Not Required.” The point of the book was to have recipes that only needed the most basic kitchen implements: a pan, a pot, a wooden spoon, and a knife. I was going to make tools like blenders obsolete, reinvent things like smoothies and whipped cream by showing people how to make them without their Cuisinarts.

Did I mention that, at the time, I was living in a tiny one room studio with a closet sized kitchen and zero money in the bank?

I’ve since moved on from the idea of “Blender Not Required” (and into a bigger apartment with a better kitchen), and I do indeed own a blender. While I enjoy my collection of pans and various cooking implements, I recognize that I don’t actually need many of them. Yes, my Le Creuset and Henckels have a special place in my heart, and really nice cookware does often make a difference in your finished product. But a good cook doesn’t need a lot of fancy accoutrements to make a good meal.

And on that note, my list of Top Ten Kitchen Tools You Will Never Need.

1. Garlic Peeler: Don’t buy this. Take flat end of knife, rest on clove of garlic. Smack knife. Done.

2. Wok Spatula: Really? Really? You need a special spatula for your wok? No, you don’t.

3. Electric Can Opener: It is no longer 1950.

4. Onion Chopper: You do not need a special tool to chop onions. You also do not need special eye wear to chop onions. As a side note, what can’t you buy on Amazon?

5. CO2 Charged Cream Whipper: You can use a blender, you can use a whisk. You don’t need CO2.

6. Potato Ricer: As I discovered when I was living in my studio, you don’t even need a masher to make mashed potatoes. All you really need is a fork. You certainly do not need a ricer.

7. Egg Cooker/Poacher: While this little hen is cute, you just don’t need it. You need a pan.

8. Garlic Roaster: Otherwise known as tin foil.

9. Avocado Slicer: Otherwise known as a knife.

10. Pizza Scissors: Also, otherwise known as a knife.

Voila. I just saved you all at least $200. You’re welcome.

Food: Oh My Darling, Clementines

November 11, 2010

It’s finally clementine season, and let me just say: it’s about time. Even though the first few shipments are usually a little too tart and watery, once you finally get a sweet little clementine your day is all but made.

Clems are the tiny romping puppy of the citrus world: always happy, always energetic (unless they are sleeping/out of season). Their size makes you want to learn how to juggle, just so you can have an excuse to throw them around. When you peel them your hands smell delicious for the rest of the day, and when you eat them you can’t help but smile.

In case you didn’t know, clementines – and oranges too, for that matter – are berries. (Makes sense when you think about it, huh?) Clems are seedless, one of their many bonus points over regular citrus, and only in season/readily available in November and December. Their short season makes them all the more desireable – clems aren’t stupid, they play hard to get.

Unlike their cousins the satsuma or the mandarin orange, you don’t find clementines listed as an ingredient in many seasonal recipes. Even after leafing through my extensive cookbook collection, the most I came up with was some infused olive oils and salads topped with clem segments. There are quite a few clementine torte/clementine cupcake recipes floating out there, and I spotted some notes on how to make a clementine- enhanced Negroni, but most of these seem like they’re trying too hard to do something fancy with what is really just a lovely, simple pleasure.

One exception: If I was more of a baker I’d work on Nigella Lawson’s recipe for Clementine Cake (adapted by Smitten Kitchen here), which includes only clementines, eggs, sugar, and almonds. But I’m not a baker, and I’m short on time these days, which is another reason why I like this fruit. No matter how busy I am, I always have a moment to peel and savor a clementine.

Frame: Too Much of a Good Thing is Gross

November 10, 2010

Geoffrey Fowler’s recent article in the Wall Street Journal, For Those Who Can’t Decide on Dessert, Here’s the Dish, tells the story of “the turducken of desserts,” the Cherpumple: a three layer cake with a pie baked into each layer. Cherry, pumpkin, and apple pie all wrapped up in cake, generously frosted.

photo taken from WSJ.com

I am all for experimentation, but there is nothing about this that appeals to me. It is an actual, official mess. Print out a certificate: Outstanding Achievement in Massive Waste of Ingredients. Even in the article, one baker laments that “numerous people feel the need to tell me how disgusting it is.” Yes, yes, it is.

I’m not even talking about the fact that a cherpumple is really in the same family as the now infamous and alarmingly ubiquitous Hamburger wrapped in Krispy Kremes, I’m talking about the reality that there is no way this could taste good. Why spend so much time concocting what is, from the start, a failed experiment?

It is not, as the article states, “taking the cupcake trend to a ridiculous- but hopefully delicious- level.” A gourmet cupcake, even with filling and fancy frosting, is still three pies short of cherpumple insanity.

An important rule of fashion: always take off one piece of clothing before you leave the house, so as not to be overly accessorized.

An important rule of writing: never use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice, so as not to be overly pretentious.

An important rule of cooking, or perhaps food innovation?  Always take off two pies before you open the oven, or never use three layers when one will do.

photo from foodnetwork.com

Feast: Watts Grocery

November 9, 2010

One thing a Bostonian can’t help but notice about North Carolina is how freakishly friendly everyone is. When I arrived at the airport, the man driving the rental car bus got OUT of the bus, took my bag, and carried it up the stairs for me -when he reached for my bag I almost smacked him. The lady at the rental car place offered me a bottle of water – I turned it down out of fear it had been tainted. The wait staff at La Farm Bakery offered to deliver our order- we declined, assuming that they would spit in our food for the extra effort.

Huh. Maybe it’s more that Bostonians are paranoid and less that North Carolinians are friendly?

Regardless, people in the south are awfully sweet, ya’ll. And while the town of Durham may not have the bells and whistles of a bigger city, it does have an excellent and much acclaimed restaurant in Watts Grocery.

There is something welcoming about a restaurant whose staff dresses in shirts adorned with a pink pig outline.  It says “come on in, there is pork to be had.”  At Watts, not only is the pork local, but many if not most of the ingredients they use come from suppliers just down the road- from the list on the menu: Chapel Hill Creamery, Fowl Attitude, Four Leaf Farm, Latta Eggs. The atmosphere itself plays up the local aspect as well, with the bar made of glass counters that house pictures and memorabilia. The restaurant is cozy but not overly so, they are happy to see you but there is still a touch of sass in the place. When I asked our server what she thought of one of the mixed drinks on the menu, she sized me up and said “You look like you prefer sweet drinks, so that’s probably fine for you.” Um, I’ll take a double vodka, but thanks.

We started with the Pan Fried Chicken Livers with Duck Fat Potatoes and the Fall Beet and Blue Cheese Salad with Endive. I never really got into the beet fad, but my dinner companion had been dreaming of beets all day – who dreams of beets? – so I gave in. Both were good, but the chicken livers were the star. The staff knew to ask us how we wanted them prepared, and they arrived with an almost creamy texture and light, not gamey, flavor.

For dinner I asked our server what she preferred, the Braised Short Rib with Tomatoes, Fennel, and Farro, or the market fish of the day- a trout. She looked me over again and pronounced “You get the rib.” Ok, sure. I can’t say she steered me wrong (though I can say she was starting to give me a complex)- the short rib was tender and the sweetness of the tomatoes was well enhanced by the fennel. The farro was the best touch, I thought, for a dish that is often served with mashed potatoes or risotto -neither of which provide a good contrast to a very tender piece of meat. The farro had a nice chewy bite to it, as well as some nuttiness that made the dish unique, if a tad under-seasoned.

However, it became clear when I tasted my partner’s dinner- the trout special – that our waitress clearly preferred him to me. The trout was the best thing in the entire restaurant that night. Seared to a perfect crust on the outside, wonderfully salty and served with a light vegetable slaw, I’m lucky I was able to barter a few bites of short rib for this fish. If nothing else had been edible, this would have been a reason to go back.

We ended with an Apple Pear Croustade with Cinnamon Ice Cream and Brandy Caramel, which was exactly what it sounds like. I’m rarely blown away by desserts, and this was good but not overly exciting. We did eat almost all of it, and when the waitress asked if we’d like to take the last bite home, we jokingly said yes. She, not jokingly, brought back the last bite in a neatly wrapped box a few minutes later. You win lady, you win.

Overall, Watts Grocery was a lovely southern dinner with a saucy southern server and delicious local food. If I ever happen to be in Durham, North Carolina again, I will happily return.

Frame: Sick and Tired

November 8, 2010

Just about everyone I know is some sort of sick right now. Getting over the flu, speaking in a raspy voice, downing emergen-c in too-large-to-be-healthy proportions. Me, I just have a bit of a sore throat, and am (hopefully) staving off anything worse with some tea and various herbal remedies. But I have my arsenal of “I’m sick” food at the ready, just in case: chicken broth, popsicles, and jello. In the meantime, I’ve been interested to see what my already afflicted friends eat when they aren’t exactly on top of the weather. Here are some entrants into the category of “food for when you’re sick”*:

1. Throat Coat tea and Tequila: No judgement, and I’m sure the taste is akin to cough syrup. But really?

2. Wonton Soup: I can get behind this. Clear liquid, minimal solids, but at least a little sustenance.

3. Goldfish crackers and 7up: I love goldfish crackers, and 7up definitely takes me back to being sick and begging my mom to let me stay home from school, so this passes too.

4. Gatorade and oatmeal: I can see the logic in this, but I can’t imagine eating oatmeal when I’m sick.

5. Yogurt and honey: Again, I get it, but any kind of dairy when you’re ill…ick.

6. Pomegranate Martini: Clearly in the “alcohol kills all the germs” camp.

7. Ginger chews and blackberry puree: This actually sounds fantastic to me. I’m putting this in the cabinet/freezer for the next time I’m too sick to care about food.

*Not to be confused with comfort food. Comfort food, such as macaroni and cheese, is not at all what one wants to eat when they are sick. Talk to me the next time you have the flu and I guarantee there is no way you are going to request some form of traditional comfort food.

Frame: The Artful Eater, Again

November 7, 2010

More food related art.

pans

potatoes

pouring

Frame: Cloudy

November 6, 2010

Even on cloudy days, and ever since I was little. The beach.

Food: A Good Italian Lady

November 5, 2010

Every good Italian lady knows how to make spaghetti and meatballs, and I am no exception. The recipe I use is mine, which was adapted from my mother’s, which was adapted from my Aunt Sarah’s. I actually find meatballs and sauce to be much easier than a good bolognese sauce- once you make this a few times you’ll get the hang of it. I recommend drinking a glass of Chianti while you cook, but no, there is no accordian music on my ipod.

Sauce
2 x 28 cans San Marzano crushed tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
2 bay leaves
1 tsp crushed red pepper
1 tsp dried oregano
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 tsp brown sugar
olive oil
salt to taste

Put onion, parsley, basil, oregano, red pepper, garlic, and bay leaves in a large pot, drizzle with olive oil and saute over medium heat for a few minutes. You can either break the bay leaf in half, which releases more flavor, or leave it whole, which makes it easier to fish out of the sauce once it’s done. (Don’t eat the bay leaf.)

Once the onion is tender, add crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, and brown sugar. If you have a rind of parm in your house (which I always do), add this.

Let simmer for at least an hour, but the longer you cook it, the more the flavors will incorporate. The brown sugar is used to sweeten up what can be potentially bitter tomatoes, but here is a trick if your sauce is still too tart after an hour: add 1/2 to 1 tsp of baking soda.  It will bubble up when you first add it, but just keep stirring and the sauce will relax again.

Meatballs – yields 12-14
1/3 lb ground pork
1/3 lb ground lamb
3/4 lb ground beef (85%)
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 slices sourdough bread
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1/4 cup grated parmesan
1 tsp salt
olive oil

Start by taking the bread, putting it in a bowl, and covering it with the milk. Let this sit while you assemble the rest of your ingredients.  This is a substitute for what most meatball recipes call for: Italian breadcrumbs. Now, I love Italian breadcrumbs and if I don’t have bread in the house, I’ll use those in a heartbeat. But I find the bread and milk makes the meatballs really tender, so give it a try.

my best food photo ever!

There is also some debate about what types of meat to use for this dish, and in what ratio. Frankly, you can make perfectly good meatballs with just beef, but it definitely adds a little character to experiment with different combinations of veal, pork, lamb, and beef. Tonight, I went for my favorite- 1/3 lamb, 1/3 pork, 3/4 beef. Mix these with the parmesan, egg, parsley, garlic, salt, and bread (which you will take out of the milk and wring with your hands until it is a soggy ball- see picture below). Mix everything together until incorporated, but don’t overwork it – a trick from my mom.

ingredients ready to mix

Form into balls and place in a glass baking dish. Drizzle with olive oil and bake at 375 for 15 minutes.

When you remove the meatballs from the oven, they will be lightly browned and technically ready to eat (you should try one at this point, just to be sure). But the final step is a nice hot bath in your sauce. Spoon your meatballs into your waiting pot and simmer for 45 minutes or longer. If you are wondering what to do with the olive oil and meat drippings left in your glass pan, then I have taught you nothing. Those go in the pot with the sauce- don’t waste the delicious.

Voila.

voila.

Frame: In All Fairness

November 5, 2010

blue cheese and honey gelato

I always feel bad for food when I hear someone dismiss a dish or ingredient with a disgusted look on their face, or a fearful “oh, I don’t eat that” statement. What did food ever do to you?

We all have things we don’t particularly enjoy, but it’s not fair to yourself or to food to just cut something out altogether. Although, lest you think I am flawless in this department, I will admit that I have exactly two things that I always decline to eat due to personal taste bias: bananas and hazelnuts. Sure, I will eat the occasional banana- flavored item, but only under duress or out of courtesy. I can’t remember the last time I chose to eat raw banana. If there are chopped hazelnuts on a dish, I can handle it. But if I discover hidden nutella or hazelnut filling in say, a piece of chocolate, I’m no longer interested in finishing whatever is currently in my mouth. These two foods are relatively mundane- most people think I’m crazy when I tell them I don’t eat bananas. But these are often the people that won’t eat blue cheese.

Blue cheese is fantastic. It can be mild, tart, smooth, grainy, hard, or soft. It goes well in macaroni and cheese, over a steak, made into a compound butter, or just on a plate with some grapes. If you don’t eat blue cheese you are missing out on a whole category of dairy that deserves your attention. And you are also depriving yourself of Blue Cheese and Honey Gelato.

I tried this flavor on a recent trip to North Carolina, after listening to about ten people practically shriek at the thought of tasting it, fleeing from the gelato line with their chocolate or mango flavored cone. True, the blue cheese and honey pan looked a little suspect with its greyish color and bits of blue crumbled on top, but the flavor was incredible. Richly layered, the first taste was the tang and salt of the cheese, soon after followed by the sweet creaminess of the honey. The honey mixed with the blue, and then melted it away. Like certain wines, the finish of this flavor was the best part- one is left with just a light sweetness.

Ok, I changed my mind. If you want to list blue cheese as one of the things you just don’t eat, I won’t stop you. You can have my banana split, I’ll have your blue cheese and honey gelato.

Frame: The Artful Eater

November 4, 2010
Sometimes food is art.

RADISHES- cindy wins 1 million dollars

fish

Frame: The Anti-Solipsism

November 4, 2010

squash blossom, if you couldn't guess

I’ve been trying to get into a few new books lately, but they’ve all sort of fallen flat for me. If I don’t get into something or someone right away, I generally lose interest and it/they become just a placeholder in my bookcase. To right myself (as far as books go), I’m re-reading one of my favorites: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman.  I first read it six years ago, and already I can tell Klosterman’s outlook – as an emo, 30 something single guy-  is going to resonate much differently this time around.

On Pop Culture:
In and of itself, nothing really matters. What matters is that nothing is ever really “in and of itself.”

On Non-Retarded Americans:
Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living.  And someone needs to take the fall for this. So I’m going to blame John Cusack.

On Being Comfortable with Silence:
There’s not a lot to say during breakfast. I mean, you just woke up, you know? Nothing has happened.

On Love:
 I want fake love. But that’s all I want. And that’s why I can’t have it.

On Life:
There are two ways to look at life.
 The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone’s life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don’t realize it. There are many mornings when I when I feel certain that the first perspective is irrefutably true: I wake up, feel the inescapable oppression of sunlight pouring through my window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And everyone is alone. And everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and I have to learn everything again.
I guess I am not a morning person.
However, that feeling always passes. Every new minute of every new day seems to vaguely improve. And I suspect that’s because the alternative view- that everything is ultimately like something else and that nothing and no one is autonomous – is probably the greater truth. The math does check out, the numbers do add up. The connections might not be hard-wired into the superstructure to the universe, but it feels like they are whenever I put money into a jukebox and everybody in the bar suddenly seems to be having the same conversation. And in that last moment before I fall asleep each night, I understand Everything.
This is why I will always hate falling asleep.

Food: Red Wine Pan Sauce

November 2, 2010

There’s nothing like a Meatless Monday and the taunts from your food-world friends reminding you how pathetic you were during your vegan days to make you hungry for a nice, juicy, pan-seared piece of steak. And so, today I visited my friendly neighborhood butcher for a few dirty jokes, a lesson on inventory control, and some sirloin.

But what to accompany this steak? Think…think. Give me a minute…wait for it…

inspiration

Red wine pan sauce. Yes.

First, cook your steak. For tips, check out my last post on steak.

hello pretty.

Rest your steak on a plate under some tinfoil, then prepare your sauce in the same pan used to cook the steak.

Deglaze the pan with 1 1/2 cups red wine (Shiraz or similar). This means you will pour the wine into the pan and use a spatula to scrape the delicious meaty bits from the bottom.

arty deglazing shot

Over medium heat, add one minced shallot and a few sprigs of thyme. If you don’t have thyme, use sage. If you don’t have sage, use rosemary. If you don’t have…you get it.

reduce, add herbs

Simmer the mixture until reduced by 3/4- this will take about 10 minutes or so. When the sauce has reduced, remove pan from heat and add 2 tbsps of cold butter to the pan.

butter

Spoon over steak.

Enjoy not being a vegan.

Voila.

hello pretty.

Fluid: Booze-y Hot Chocolate

November 2, 2010

Don’t ever make hot chocolate from a mix, I’ve discovered. It takes only a few more minutes to make it from scratch, tastes much, much better, and is far easier than say, chocolate sauce.

Ingredients:

4 oz semi-sweet chocolate
2 1/4 cups milk (you don’t need to use whole milk, but it is encouraged- otherwise, 2%)
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp vanilla
few dashes cinnamon
few dashes rum
pinch of salt

Put milk in pot. Break up chocolate and add. Toss in dashes of cinnamon and brown sugar, stir over low-medium heat until chocolate is melted.

Add vanilla.

Add rum.

Taste. If needed, add more rum.

Serve in a lovely little teacup, so you can channel Marie Antoinette as you drink your booze-y hot chocolate, and finish with a tiny pinch of salt. Add a dollop of ice cream, if desired.

Food: Meatless Monday, P. 2- White Beans and Mushrooms

November 1, 2010

One of the first things I bought when I experimented with veganism was a cookbook. It seemed like the right thing to do, as most of my collection at the time was heavily based around titles like “Everything Bacon” and “The Best Things Come with a Side of Meat.” I purchased Vegonomicon – The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook, and discovered several dishes that, even back to my non-vegan diet, I still make on a regular basis. I will admit that when cooking Rustic White Beans and Mushrooms now, I add butter and the rind from a piece of Parmesan Reggiano, thus rendering it truly un-vegan, but all the more delicious. This dish is easy enough to make any weeknight, makes the whole house smell nice, and is particularly good if you’re an athlete looking for some interesting non-meat protein. Behold, my notes on how to prepare this recipe.

1. Buy some dried white beans. You can not use canned beans for this (I tried – no go). In the morning, before you leave for work, put 2 cups of these beans in a bowl and cover them with water. Now, conventional wisdom says these beans need to soak for 8 hours, but you can get away with 4.   Note: If you get home and realize you’ve forgotten to soak the beans altogether, you can still make this recipe. Boil the beans for 3 minutes, then soak for 2 hours, then proceed with cooking.

2. Drain and rinse your soaked beans, transfer to a large pot. Add 4 cups of cold water, cover, and bring to a boil. (Yes, if you took the soaking shortcut, you still boil them). Let the beans boil for 3 minutes (careful, at this point your pot will try to overflow), then skim off any white foam and lower the heat to medium. Add 1 small carrot, 1 stalk celery, 1 small chopped onion, 1 tsp dried thyme (or 1 tbsp fresh thyme- dried herbs are more potent than fresh), and 2 tbsp fresh tarragon. Cover and simmer for 45 minutes.

3. Once you have about 15 minutes left on the clock, check the beans- they should be starting to resemble a thick stew, not a soup.  (This is the point at which I usually add some parm rind, for flavor).

4. About 10 minutes before the beans are due to be done, put two minced cloves of garlic in a pan with a few swirls of olive oil. Note: If you’re not actually vegan, throw a chunk of butter in there as well. I’m sorry, but it really makes the dish- it becomes much creamier and richer (big surprise).

5. Add 1 thinly sliced leek. But first, a word about leeks.

Leeks are great, once you know how to prepare them. They can hold on to some grit, so once you cut them, separate them with your fingers in a big bowl, then cover with water and swish them around, drain, and pat dry with a towel.

cleaning leeks

6. Once dry, add them to the pan with garlic and olive oil (and contraband butter), and saute for 2 minutes until soft. Remove the celery and carrots from beans, then add leeks to the pot. Remember, the beans should still be cooking over low heat at this point.

7. Saute 1/2 lb of mushrooms – preferably a combination of cremini, shiitake, and oyster- until they have released most of their liquid, season with salt and pepper, and add to beans. Turn off the heat and season with salt and pepper. I also like to add at least 1 tbsp of lemon juice to brighten it up a bit.

8. You can serve this over risotto, polenta, couscous, or, as I prefer it, plain. Voila!

Frame: Meatless Monday, P.1

November 1, 2010
tags:

On January 1st, 2010, I took on The Great Vegan Experiment, whereupon I decided to go without any animal products (or products made from animals) for three months. I was massively cranky and incredibly boring the entire time, talking endlessly about how cookies with hidden honey are the devil and vegan cheese isn’t really cheese. Instead of 3 months, I lasted exactly 23 days, as my experiment went down in a blaze of meat glory when an excellent chef cooked me a roast for my birthday. Below are some thoughts I jotted down about soy during my experiment, and in honor of Meatless Monday I’m going to pull out one of my vegan recipes for dinner tonight.  

***

When I decided to try my hand (stomach?) at veganism, I assumed soy would play a role in my new diet. However, after doing some investigation, I am truly stymied as to how much, if any, soy I should be consuming. I am actually a little afraid of soy.

I currently have, in my apartment: light soy milk, firm tofu, and morning star chick’n strips (why must they use such infuriating spellings for meat substitutes?). I’ve been enjoying all of these things to varying degrees. But when a friend – who is vegan himself- found out about my experiment, he cautioned me “just watch out for soy. I’m trying to cut back on soy myself. and it’s especially bad for women.”

The soy milk in my fridge is a silent killer? Not ok.

A quick search for “is soy bad for you?”  led to inconclusive results. One article stated “soy is more insidious than hemlock.” Ouch. Another said that “consuming large amounts of soy could have harmful effects on female fertility and reproductive development.” Not something I’m particularly worried about at the moment, but not something I’m trying to sabotage, either.  Yet another: “To sum up the research on humans, the bulk of the evidence indicates that 2 to 3 servings of soy is perfectly safe, possibly even protective against disease. A serving of soy is 1/2 cup of tofu, tempeh, soybeans or textured vegetable protein, or 1 cup of soymilk.”

Some of the problems said to be caused by soy? Breast cancer, thyroid problems, kidney stones, reproductive problems, and- my favorite- dementia.

I thought my friends were driving me crazy about their insistence on proving what a bad idea veganism is, but maybe it’s just the soy talking?

Endgame: I’m going to slowly eat the rest of the soy products that I purchased (I hate wasting food), but after that I think I’ll stick to the occasional tofu serving. Fake meat isn’t really my thing, anyway, and soy milk is too sweet.